For My Chrissy.

For Chrissy.

I’ve been trying to work up the, well, courage to write this post for many weeks, and I really don’t think I even have it now. Maybe I never fully will. But although this has never been an especially personal blog, it has always been an unofficially shared blog – as half of Little Dorrit & Co., my mentor in everything related to art in every way, and the co-maker of many of the projects shared here, my mother is a huge part of this site. It would seem wrong somehow not to write this post, as difficult as it is.

After a long, unspeakably difficult, and terribly unfair year and a half, my little Mommy passed away at the end of August. I can’t believe it’s been so long now – I feel just as raw now as the day it happened – and I miss her more every day that goes by. So much for things getting easier with time.

For Chrissy.

I’m sorry that I just disappeared for a while, that my sampler project – and the Crazy Quilting posts – simply stopped in their tracks, and that I haven’t posted anything but Orange Peel Quilt-Along updates for ages now. I just can’t seem to muster up the enthusiasm for anything else. If you’re one of my Instagram pals, you’ll already know this happened, and that I’ve been comforting myself with the peels and distracting myself with a Halloween quilt – but really, that’s all I seem to want to do at the moment.

For Chrissy.

I don’t want to simply gush at you about how sad I am that Mom and I will not finish so much of what we had planned together, and how heartbroken I am that I won’t ever see her again (how can that possibly be true?!) – again, this has never really been that kind of blog. But I did want to share with you – as readers who have seen so much of her work and influence on these pages – some of her beautiful artwork, because it deserves to be admired. We had our moments, but I would do anything to continue working with her and her amazing drawings.

For Chrissy.

There are more Little Dorrit & Co. patterns to be released, eventually, when they don’t make me so incredibly sad to think about – and there are more embroideries that we planned, which I will stitch one day soon. Not just yet, but soon. I appreciate all of you Orange Peel-alongers for unknowingly providing me with the perfect comfort project, right when I needed it, and I will return to those projects I abandoned as soon as I feel able. I hope you’ll stick with me and be patient until I’m able to make a proper return here.

One of Mom's paintings, rehung in the bathroom. This one was for my brother, who is named Atticus - the quote is, "Atticus told me to delete the adjectives and I'd have the facts." (from To Kill A Mockingbird)

And in the meantime, I’ll share my favorite photo of my Chrissy and I, which I have framed in my bedroom and was taken just before she got sick – the two of us and the amazing Jane Austen quilt, in a quiet moment.

For Chrissy.

Love you, Mommy.

14 Comments on For My Chrissy.

  1. Rachel
    October 15, 2014 at 01:22 (3 years ago)

    I’m so very sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you as I’m orange peeling. *hugs*

    Reply
  2. Jenny
    October 15, 2014 at 04:31 (3 years ago)

    How beautiful to have shared a love of creating and making with your Mother – I’m so sorry too. Sending love and prayers as I stitch my peels along with you.

    Reply
  3. Zoe
    October 15, 2014 at 06:14 (3 years ago)

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Her artwork is beautiful.

    Reply
  4. Nicole Follow the White Bunny
    October 15, 2014 at 08:47 (3 years ago)

    A beautiful post Julie, and thank you for sharing the art your mother made, it’s wonderful. *hugs*

    Reply
  5. Jess
    October 15, 2014 at 16:35 (3 years ago)

    I am so sorry. :( I am glad that you have some “comfort sewing” right now and please don’t feel bad for however long it takes you to feel like you want or are ready to go back to the other stuff. I’d put a virtual hug at the end of this, but I don’t comment very often, so that would be weird, so I won’t, but the thought is there.

    Reply
  6. Lara
    October 15, 2014 at 18:41 (3 years ago)

    I’m so so very sorry about your Mother. I can’t even imagine (both as a mother and as a daughter). I absolutely love her paintings though. So lovely.

    Reply
  7. sophie
    October 15, 2014 at 20:01 (3 years ago)

    Julie, this post expresses your love for your mum beautifully and her artwork is really lovely.

    Reply
  8. Regena
    October 15, 2014 at 20:43 (3 years ago)

    so very sorry for your loss. I have no words, just prayers to help you get through this hard, hard time.

    Reply
  9. Anne
    October 16, 2014 at 03:41 (3 years ago)

    XOX my thoughts are with you!

    Reply
  10. wendy
    October 17, 2014 at 12:54 (3 years ago)

    I’m so sorry to hear your news, I’ll be thinking of you x

    Reply
  11. Rebecca
    October 18, 2014 at 03:52 (3 years ago)

    Your mom’s artwork is beautiful and I love that photo of the two of you. I am so sorry you are going through this, but take all the time you need. *Hugs*

    Reply
  12. Rebecca Bell
    October 22, 2014 at 16:23 (3 years ago)

    What a heartbreaking lovely post. Virtual hugs xxx

    Reply
  13. Kim
    October 28, 2014 at 19:40 (3 years ago)

    So sorry at your loss and how wonderful you shared a love of art and stitch together.

    Reply
  14. TerriSue
    November 1, 2014 at 21:43 (3 years ago)

    Dear Julie,
    Oh my dear sweet girl. I have been there 19 years ago, and I am still there today. I’m NOT going to tell you it gets easier. It doesn’t. It does get different. The rawness will not eat at your gut quite as bad. Even now when one of my grandchildren will do something, I will catch myself as I think “I must call Mother and tell her about that.” It will hit me anew all over again. This after 19 years. She was my best friend when I was growing up. I only went through about 3 months of teenage angst as I couldn’t stand the separateness that it had caused between us. She was my best friend as an adult. When she died it was as if someone had ripped my heart in two. I’ve sewed it back but it but it will never be whole again. A good book to read is A Grief Observed by C. S. Lewis. It helped me quite a bit when I was floundering so after mother died. I was 37 when mother died. I think you have lost Chrissy at a much younger age. It doesn’t seem right. Please know dear Julie that I will be praying for you.
    TerriSue

    Reply

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